QUEENS, NY—In a courageous new episode of Sesame Street, the puppets teach kids about social justice by introducing a new character, Todd-- a white male puppet who is blamed for everything wrong in the world.
Minutes into the episode, Todd is introducing himself to the other puppets and a prescriptively diverse cast of guest children, when he is confronted by Grover about Todd's culpability regarding a distant ancestor who fought for the Confederacy.
Later on, Todd works alongside the puppet Abby Cadabby to stock the shelves of Hooper’s store with Goya beans. His accidental revelation that he gets paid 30% more than her leads to Abby singing a tearful rendition of ‘Workforce Woes.’
The episode’s final sketch portrays Todd selling cookies without the requisite health warning labels, forcing Cookie Monster into obesity and skyrocketing healthcare costs.
In an upcoming 17-part series entitled "R is for Racism", Todd appears in multiple educational scenarios including a math teacher forcing minority puppets to learn 2 + 2 = 4, an ignorant puppet who thinks some cops might be good, and in a particularly jarring sketch, a shady character teaching kids to face life’s unfairness with hard work, self-sacrifice, and hope for the future.
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"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."