ATLANTA, GA—In a previous ad campaign, CNN asserted they were a news organization that would never succumb to pressure to confuse an apple and a banana, but now they seem to have changed course. In a straight news piece about produce sales, they threw in the aside, “It’s impossible to know exactly what is the best-selling fruit, as there are no consensus criteria to tell an apple from a banana.”
When CNN president and founder Bob CNN was questioned about the line, he defended it. “People believe in some sort of ‘this is an apple’ and ‘this is a banana’ binary,” Bob said, “but modern science-like thought says biology is more complex than that. How can you be certain you don’t have a short, round banana or a really long, yellow apple? You can’t. Now excuse me-- I have to assign more people to watch FOX News and yell at it.”
That day, Bob offered everyone a slice of his freshly baked “apple” pie, but it was reportedly “extremely disgusting.”
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
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