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Study: 30% Of People Who Have Been Vaccinated Still Plan To Live The Rest Of Their Lives Hidden In A Basement Just In Case

U.S.—According to a new CDC study, 30% of Americans who have received the vaccine plan to spend the rest of their earthly lives hiding in their basements just in case the vaccine doesn't work.

"The most important thing is for all of us to stay safe," said Cander Roybie, who has received all three versions of the vaccine. "Dr. Fauci said there may be a chance the vaccine won't stop all forms of the virus, so I think the best thing I can do is stay here."

Roybie told reporters he has resigned himself to hiding in his damp, dark basement with his friend Marley, living off of food orders from DoorDash until they die.

"It's a good life, a really good life. This is a good thing," he said. "As long as there's any chance of death by virus still existing in the world, we're staying put!"

Unfortunately, he had to venture upstairs 5 minutes later to reset his Wi-Fi router. There is currently no word on his condition.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

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May 09, 2026

UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion

"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."

https://babylonbee.com/news/ufo-files-reveal-aliens-here-and-already-defrauded-minnesota-for-20-billion

May 09, 2026

Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws

"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-effort-to-retake-congress-once-again-thwarted-by-existence-of-laws

May 08, 2026

Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote

"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."

https://babylonbee.com/news/virginia-considering-new-measure-that-just-makes-it-illegal-for-republicans-to-vote

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