ATLANTA, GA—Georgia has hung up signs at all entrances to the state reading "Welcome to Beijing," cleverly disguising the state as the capital of Communist China. The ploy was designed to trick liberal companies threatening to boycott into staying and doing business in the state.
"It's a brilliant plan, if I do say so myself," said Georgia Governor Brian Kemp as he nailed another Beijing sign atop a "Welcome to Georgia" sign along the interstate. "When these Hollywood companies, airlines, and baseball leagues see that we're actually just the capital of a country that throws its citizens into concentration camps, murders journalists, and oppresses women and children, they'll love doing business here."
The move has already proven successful, with Hollywood movie studios stumbling over themselves to do business in the state. The filming of the live-action version of Mulan 2 will begin shortly near Atlanta, which Governor Kemp has disguised with fake prison camps so Disney won't be the wiser.
Major League Baseball has confirmed the All-Star game will be held in the new "Beijing" as well, having moved it out of the hateful state of Georgia and into this utopian wonderland where elections are always 100% equitable, with each vote counting exactly as much as every other vote.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
