ATLANTA, GA—Georgia has hung up signs at all entrances to the state reading "Welcome to Beijing," cleverly disguising the state as the capital of Communist China. The ploy was designed to trick liberal companies threatening to boycott into staying and doing business in the state.
"It's a brilliant plan, if I do say so myself," said Georgia Governor Brian Kemp as he nailed another Beijing sign atop a "Welcome to Georgia" sign along the interstate. "When these Hollywood companies, airlines, and baseball leagues see that we're actually just the capital of a country that throws its citizens into concentration camps, murders journalists, and oppresses women and children, they'll love doing business here."
The move has already proven successful, with Hollywood movie studios stumbling over themselves to do business in the state. The filming of the live-action version of Mulan 2 will begin shortly near Atlanta, which Governor Kemp has disguised with fake prison camps so Disney won't be the wiser.
Major League Baseball has confirmed the All-Star game will be held in the new "Beijing" as well, having moved it out of the hateful state of Georgia and into this utopian wonderland where elections are always 100% equitable, with each vote counting exactly as much as every other vote.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
