U.S.—"When the pandemic is over and the government lets us stop wearing masks, I'm gonna do so much stuff," said Carl Landon to a friend recently, as Landon is a hopelessly naive optimist and kind of a gullible moron. "We gave the government all this power without putting up a fight, and they're definitely gonna give that up now that the virus is going away. I can't wait to not wear masks and move about the country as I please without the government's approval. It's gonna be cool -- a real return to how things were before this stuff happened." The adorably ignorant rube added that he's going to get the vaccine so that he can go to concerts and theme parks this summer without having to wear a mask or social distance. At publishing time, he had further added that he fully expects the government to stop spending so much money now that the pandemic is over.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
