U.S.—In a revelation that shocked dozens, every single, male, unmarried viewer of the bachelor came out as gay yesterday. The event marks the first mass coming out event since people who like The Last Jedi simultaneously came out of the closet last summer.
"I can't hide who I am any longer," said Ted Marin, 32, of Iowa. "I watch The Bachelor and enjoy every minute, and frankly, it's pretty obvious what that means. I can't believe I didn't see it sooner." He said other signs included being tidy, enjoying reading books, and not watching MMA.
But when he looked at his bookshelf one day and saw dozens of seasons of the popular dating show on Blu-Ray nestled next to his Twilight books, he realized he had to come to terms with his identity.
"It all came crashing down. I have a lot of thinking to do."
The viewership who came out as gay excludes married guys who watch it reluctantly with their wives, though those who continue to watch it pretending not to be interested but secretly enjoy it have been marked as sus.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."