The Babylon Bee
Culture • News • Comedy
Fake news you can trust.
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
Losing Baseball Team Suggests New Rules Allowing Them To Add 4 Players To The Field

HAMPTON FALLS, VA—The official softball team of Gracecornerstonelife Church in Hampton Falls was losing fair and square against the Mormon team last weekend. But then, they had a great idea: "rebalancing" the field by adding four of their own players to the outfield.

The team was quickly accused of "packing the field" and changing the rules in the middle of the game, but they reject these criticisms as unfounded and "maybe racist."

"We're not packing the field; we're unpacking it," said Pastor John. "We're merely rebalancing the game and making long-overdue changes to ensure the fans have a voice. They would be really unhappy if we lose." He gestured to the stands, where over seven fans were watching the game.

"The founding fathers of baseball never foresaw that one day we would be losing a game, against the LDS of all people," he added. "The rules of baseball are flexible -- a living document. Therefore, we should be able to change the rules in the middle of a game to our advantage."

If the rule change goes through, the church team will be allowed to immediately appoint four outfielders to join the game to help silence the Mormons' bats.

It may all be a moot point, however, as the Mormons have been accused of looking at seer stones to predict the opposing teams' plays.

post photo preview
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
What else you may like…
Videos
Posts
🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
6 hours ago

Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote

"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."

https://babylonbee.com/news/virginia-considering-new-measure-that-just-makes-it-illegal-for-republicans-to-vote

4 hours ago

UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion

"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."

https://babylonbee.com/news/ufo-files-reveal-aliens-here-and-already-defrauded-minnesota-for-20-billion

4 hours ago

Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws

"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-effort-to-retake-congress-once-again-thwarted-by-existence-of-laws

Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals