WALTHAM, MA—Kenny Stone always trusts the science. That’s why, despite getting vaccinated, he’s listening to Dr. Anthony Fauci and the CDC and continuing to wear a mask, even when outside. “There’s still a risk I could get the virus out there,” said Stone. “It’s a pretty large number -- like ten million... dividing a one -- so it’s just right to be cautious.”
Stone takes similar precautions when driving, always wearing a helmet. “You could crash at any time,” explained Stone -- who was also wearing a mask while alone in the car to protect against the less than a billionth chance of viral infection in that situation. “That’s why, in addition to a seatbelt, you need to wear a helmet when in a car. It’s also a good idea when using stairs. That’s just science.”
Stone also stayed cautious when taking a bath, always wearing water wings to help prevent drowning. “People drown all the time,” Stone said. “Not usually grown adults in bathtubs, but it happens. This is just trusting the science and taking known precautions.” Stone then put on a helmet to prepare to stand up from the bath.
Dr. Fauci agreed with Stone’s assessment. “You have to be careful with these things,” he said. “I would also wear water wings when anywhere near anyone else taking a bath, in case you fall in. And wear a mask when bathing. Just don’t clean that part of your face.”
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
