HOUSTON, TX—Now that NASA has awarded Elon Musk's SpaceX the contract to land astronauts on the moon, they are frantically working to build an actual moon for astronauts to land on.
"The moon isn't real," said one anonymous NASA rep to reporters. "Oh-- no one told you that? It's a projection in the sky we created long ago to mess with everyone. Only true sheep actually think there's a moon."
The anonymous source also expressed his frustration that the contract had been awarded without his knowledge.
"Welp, now we have to build a doggone moon for Elon to land on so everyone will think he's so awesome. I have my guys working their fingers to the bone around the clock to construct a moon from scratch and launch it into orbit without anyone noticing, and I won't even get any credit!"
The source indicated he hopes to have construction completed by 2024 when the first manned mission is planned. "That should be enough time to slap together a convincing-looking moon and install a decent space laser inside it," he said.
If not ready, the astronauts will have to use the same sound stage they used for the 1969 landing.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
