U.S.—With the U.S. economy headed towards another recession and the government borrowing and spending money by the trillions, many Americans are concerned about their financial futures. In light of this, experts are saying the best way you can protect your family's future is to invent a time machine and buy Bitcoin.
"Yeah, you're pretty much out of options at this point," said Brad Chadarad, a financial advisor for Northwestern Mutual. "Government spending will probably devalue the dollar and cause it to collapse before you retire. The best advice I can offer you is to figure out how to go back in time and buy Bitcoin."
In addition to buying Bitcoin back in 2009, experts are also recommending:
Being a best-selling author
Becoming a #1 NBA draft pick
Going to Harvard and joining the elite ruling class
looting
selling your old beanie babies
starting an OnlyFans
"So, there's still lots of things you can do," said Chadarad. "I'm pretty sure that if you invested a dollar in Bitcoin ten years ago, you would have, like, infinite money at retirement. That's pretty tough to beat."
Ron Paul has proposed an alternate idea where we build a time machine and go back in time to end the Federal Reserve instead.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
