We did the research, and the results are in: there's no possible way to be happy or successful in life unless you go into crushing debt to attend a 4-year university. Still not convinced? Here are 7 reasons you MUST go to college if you ever hope to be successful in life!
1. Attending college will ensure you enter the workforce with almost zero of those annoying practical skills: Practical skills are for those working-class peasants who make 200K per year installing HVAC systems. You don't need that.
2. You'll amass mounds of crippling debt, which is a great life lesson in poor decision making: Plus, crippling student loan debt will keep you from buying a house, which is good because houses are a lot of work.
3. You might meet your future spouse passed out in a puddle of vomit at a party: And if you get married, you can start your life with 2 times the student loan debt! The American dream!
4. Unlimited frozen yogurt at the food court: Only $40,000 per year.
5. You get to experience the joy of paying $300 for a textbook on gender studies you'll never read: And after you graduate, you can look forward to a lifetime of fundraising calls to help students pay for their $300 gender studies books!
6. Learn new life hacks: like putting Bounce dryer sheets behind a fan to overcome the smell of your roommate who never showers. Invaluable knowledge!
7. If you acquire a graduate degree, Starbucks might let you become a shift manager: you can match the career earnings of a postman when you're 56, and really make bank in your 60s!
Need we say more? There's no question that a college degree is your ticket to success. Now get out there and make your mark on the world! And please, no whip on my latte.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
