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'That Girl Getting Stabbed Wasn't In Danger,' Says Man Who Flops Any Time Another Player Gets Within Six Feet Of Him

LOS ANGELES, CA—Basketball superstar and second greatest player of all time LeBron James posted in defense of the girl who was shot stabbing another girl in Ohio this week.

James, who is known for immediately falling to the ground and flopping around as though he's been tased any time other players even step on the same court he's on, said that the girl getting stabbed wasn't in any danger and that she would have been fine if the cops hadn't shot her attacker.

"That stabbing victim was fine. She was just being dramatic," James said during a press conference Thursday afternoon. "It's like, come on, what's a little friendly knife fight between friends? You gotta be tough out there on the streets. You can't just flinch and freak out and expect the refs -- I mean, the police -- to protect you whenever someone comes at you aggressively with a deadly weapon."

James then flopped to the ground as a reporter scooted forward a few inches to get a mic closer to his face. "REFS!" he screamed. "Did you see that!?! Totally a foul! My life was in danger!"

Officials standing by gave James a free throw and fined the reporter $100,000 for her obvious technical foul.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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