LOS ANGELES, CA—Hobo Hank is a friendly guy by all accounts, whether he's asking for change outside the 7-Eleven or debating philosophy with a parking meter. But Hank says his corner outside the Oscars is really starting to go downhill, as a bunch of shady drug addicts and alcoholics showed up this afternoon and apparently plan to be there all evening.
"This neighborhood is really going downhill," Hank said as another limousine arrived packed with people of the lowest moral caliber. "I was just minding my own business hanging out with Stabbin' Steve and Murderin' Carl, and the next thing you know, all these shifty-looking people start showing up in town. What is the world coming to when you can't shoot up a little heroin in peace?"
"I'm even starting to worry my cardboard box is really going to lose its value."
Hank's cardboard box is valued at $1.5 million according to Zillow, but he says that value will drop fast if these drug addicts and sexually immoral people don't leave town soon.
"This place ain't what it used to be, I tell you what," he told his pigeon.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
