The Babylon Bee
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For Safety, Trump To Give Butler Speech In Mandalorian Helmet
Although Secret Service has taken extra precautions for Trump's return, the Trump campaign felt it could take no chances. "The Secret Service promised to hang up signs saying 'No Assassins Allowed,' but I'm still uneasy," said campaign manager Darryl Rove. "It's only been a few months for Secret Service to update their training, and there's still a lot of sloped roofs out there. I'd feel a lot better with the Mandalorian helmet sitting on top of Mr. Trump."https://babylonbee.com/news/for-safety-trump-to-give-butler-speech-in-mandalorian-armor
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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
00:50:59
FEMA Arrests Noah For Running Unauthorized Flood Rescue Operation
"This is an unapproved rescue operation and we will not tolerate such behavior," FEMA Spokesman Randy Tarwater told the press. "We apprehended Noah and his so-called ‘ark' attempting to save human and animal lives. That's not what FEMA represents."https://babylonbee.com/news/fema-arrests-noah-for-running-unauthorized-flood-rescue-operation
Trembling, Bleeding Spokeswoman Issues Statement Denying That Doug Emhoff Would Ever Hit Anyone
"These accusations are absolutely ridiculous," the spokeswoman said as blood trickled from a scrape under her left eye. "Mr. Emhoff would never, ever do such a despicable thing as to strike anyone — much less a woman. The woman who was allegedly slapped by Mr. Emhoff simply fell down some stairs… just like I did right before coming out here to speak with you all today."
Ken Ham Arrives In Ark To Rescue Flood Victims
"Yet more evidence that the story of Noah's ark happened just as the Bible says," Ham said as he escorted men, women, and children — two by two — onto the ark. "God is proving everyone wrong today."https://babylonbee.com/news/ken-ham-arrives-in-ark-to-rescue-flood-victims
