SACRAMENTO, CA—There wasn't a dry eye in the press room at the governor's office today, as Gavin Newsom bravely announced he was transgender just after Caitlyn Jenner declared a gubernatorial run.
The move is seen by many as an attempt to one-up Jenner with another level of intersectionality and eliminate Newsom's disadvantage as a straight white male running in California.
"You think that Jenner character is so great because of the whole transgender thing?" Newsom said. "Well, have I got news for you."
Newsom then pulled out a blonde wig and a set of makeup and solemnly donned his new persona.
"I am now Gabby Newsom, and my pronouns are 'stunning' and 'brave'," Newsom said proudly as reporters applauded. "I can't hide it any longer."
"Caitlyn's not the only one who can play this game!"
Commentators say they weren't really surprised, since anyone that uses that much hair gel has to be a little sus. "Yeah, we saw this coming," said one reporter for the Sacramento Bee. "And, like, dining at a place called the 'French Laundry' was a bit of a tip-off too."
Newsom is to be featured on the cover of Vanity Fair next month.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
