"We're saddened to announce that COVID-19 has claimed yet another victim," Governor Kathy Hochul told reporters. "An autopsy conducted yesterday revealed Peanut's caretakers had evidently failed to administer the latest vaccine booster, making it all but a guarantee that Peanut would die from COVID, as all living creatures do."
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-york-authorities-announce-peanut-the-squirrel-died-of-covid
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
"This is a truly dire situation," said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. "If Donald Trump gets back in office, there is a high risk that he will completely overhaul our failed, inefficient mess of a government — an outcome we can't afford to see become a reality. We need your help to keep this bloated, rotting carcass of the federal bureaucracy in power at all costs."
"Based on the results of our highly accurate poll, you can see that Donald Trump will most certainly win the election unless, of course, Kamala Harris wins," said NBC News anchor Lester Holt. "And you can take that to the bank."
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-polls-show-that-trump-will-definitely-win-unless-harris-wins
"They're after you — me and Peanut are just standing in their way," said Trump. "That is why today, I am calling for a day of mourning for Peanut. Let all MAGA flags be flown at half-mast today in his memory. On Tuesday, we're going to do this for Peanut, we're going to restore justice to this country, and make America great again not just for humans, but for all woodland creatures."