The Babylon Bee
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10 hours ago

New York Authorities Announce Peanut The Squirrel Died Of COVID

"We're saddened to announce that COVID-19 has claimed yet another victim," Governor Kathy Hochul told reporters. "An autopsy conducted yesterday revealed Peanut's caretakers had evidently failed to administer the latest vaccine booster, making it all but a guarantee that Peanut would die from COVID, as all living creatures do."

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-york-authorities-announce-peanut-the-squirrel-died-of-covid

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
10 hours ago

Democrats Warn That If Trump Is Elected It Will Be The End Of Bureaucracy As We Know It

"This is a truly dire situation," said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. "If Donald Trump gets back in office, there is a high risk that he will completely overhaul our failed, inefficient mess of a government — an outcome we can't afford to see become a reality. We need your help to keep this bloated, rotting carcass of the federal bureaucracy in power at all costs."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-warn-that-if-trump-is-elected-it-will-be-an-end-to-bureaucracy-as-we-know-it

10 hours ago

New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins

"Based on the results of our highly accurate poll, you can see that Donald Trump will most certainly win the election unless, of course, Kamala Harris wins," said NBC News anchor Lester Holt. "And you can take that to the bank."

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-polls-show-that-trump-will-definitely-win-unless-harris-wins

November 03, 2024

Trump Projected To Win In 50-State Landslide After Appearing In Squirrel Costume

"They're after you — me and Peanut are just standing in their way," said Trump. "That is why today, I am calling for a day of mourning for Peanut. Let all MAGA flags be flown at half-mast today in his memory. On Tuesday, we're going to do this for Peanut, we're going to restore justice to this country, and make America great again not just for humans, but for all woodland creatures."

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-projected-to-win-in-50-state-landslide-after-appearing-in-squirrel-costume

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