BOISE, ID—According to sources, local couple Ryan and Jessica Smith spent 3 hours looking for a movie to watch last night, only for Ryan to fall asleep 12 minutes into the film.
"He does this every time!" said a frustrated Mrs. Smith to reporters. "It takes the entire evening to scroll through our Amazon, Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, HBO, and Apple TV accounts to find something we both feel like watching. As soon as we start the movie, he just falls asleep.
Experts have confirmed that the average American spends 1000% more time scrolling through their options than they do actually watching something.
Mr. Smith disagreed, insisting he stayed awake for the entirety of last week's monthly viewing of Lord of the Rings: Extended Edition. "Besides, I'm awake right now! I'm totally interested in this movie and I'm... not... falling... asleep..." he said before tipping his head back and falling asleep.
Twelve minutes after Ryan fell asleep, Jessica also fell asleep.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
