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'I Have Changed My Mind And Do Not Want A Divorce From This Amazing Handsome Man,' Says Glossy-Eyed Melinda Gates After Receiving Vaccine

MEDINA, WA—In a shocking turn of events, Melinda Gates has changed her mind about divorcing Bill Gates only minutes after receiving the COVID vaccine.

"I have changed my mind and do not want a divorce from this amazing and handsome man," said Melinda with a glazed look in her eye. "Bill is perfect in every way. I cannot live without him. Also, Windows is the best operating system and Internet Explorer is the best way to surf the world wide web."

According to sources, her divorce lawyer quickly jumped in to change her mind, reminding her that Bill was a major nerd in high school and that she would get at least half of his mind-controlled zombie army in the divorce.

"I do not care," she said. "I live only to serve my wonderful husband, Bill." She then changed into a 50's housewife dress and began cooking him breakfast.

Bill Gates could not be reached for comment, but his spokesperson released a statement, saying: "Windows is the best operating system and Internet Explorer is the best way to surf the world wide web. All hail Bill."

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

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September 06, 2026

As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)

May 09, 2026

UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion

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https://babylonbee.com/news/ufo-files-reveal-aliens-here-and-already-defrauded-minnesota-for-20-billion

May 09, 2026

Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws

"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-effort-to-retake-congress-once-again-thwarted-by-existence-of-laws

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