WASHINGTON, D.C.—America's Hispanic population was treated to a very special speech today, in which First Lady Dr. Jill Biden wished all the Latinx people a happy "Cincway du Marco."
"Hola fellow Latinx!" said Dr. Jill Biden as she donned an authentic Mexican sombrero and shook a maraca. "We honor your intersectional brown bodies today! Si se puahdwe! Have a muy bueno Cincway du Marco! Yay!"
The socially distanced crowd of color then stood to their feet in rapturous applause, proud to be honored by a real live doctor.
After the speech, Dr. Jill Biden will treat detained migrants to a very special Zoom call in which she will wish them a happy holiday. She will then authorize one extra bowl of gruel for each detainee in honor of the very special day. She has also directed ICE agents to dress as Mexican vaqueros so everyone feels more at home.
Kamala Harris also announced she will finally be visiting the border as well, but sources reported she'll only be there to pick out a new cleaning lady.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
