The Babylon Bee
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16 hours ago

In Lieu Of Coal, Santa Gives Naughty Children Season Tickets For The Chicago White Sox

"I may have been naughty, but I was not bad enough to deserve this," said 9-year-old Ethan Smith. "I felt ok about disobeying my parents since I just expected to get the usual lump of coal in my stocking. But White Sox tickets? That has to qualify as cruel and unusual punishment. Messed up, Santa."

https://babylonbee.com/news/in-lieu-of-coal-santa-gives-naughty-children-season-tickets-for-the-chicago-white-sox

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
16 hours ago

Depraved Lawlessness: Biden Issues Full Pardon To Blippi

The shocking declaration, which was made public just before President Biden departed for a vacation that was scheduled to last through the end of the year, will pardon Blippi for all crimes committed against humanity — both past atrocities and any acts that Blippi may perpetrate in the future.

https://babylonbee.com/news/depraved-lawlessness-biden-issues-full-pardon-to-blippi

16 hours ago

California Announces Mass Deportation Of U.S. Citizens

The move was met with mixed reactions. "It is about time," said one non-citizen who entered the United States illegally in 2021. "I am tired of seeing Americans everywhere I go. Dont they have a place of their own?" Others said the deportations would not be sufficient. "We should build a wall," said another illegal immigrant. "Did you know that most of them do not even speak Spanish? Can you believe that? Get them out and keep them out. California — love it, or leave it."

https://babylonbee.com/news/california-announces-mass-deportation-of-us-citizens

December 26, 2024

'Ok, Who Got Me The MAGA Hat?' Asks Kamala Harris As Jill Biden Stifles Laughter

Harris reportedly glared around the room from face to face, dismissing Joe Biden, who was still eating his pancakes, and finally settling on Jill Biden, who was unsuccessfully trying to hold back guffaws in the corner.

https://babylonbee.com/news/ok-who-got-me-the-maga-hat-asks-kamala-harris-as-jill-biden-stifles-laughter

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