The Babylon Bee
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Gabe@gginorio
December 29, 2024
Aw, Crap: DOGE Announces It’s Replacing Baseball With Cricket
Though many Americans expressed resistance to the idea, Ramaswamy assured the nation it would come to love cricket once it understood the rules. "It is really quite simple," explained Ramaswamy. "You just throw the whicky-whopper at the wicket wands, aiming a beamer at the block hole, and the walloper hits the boot hill and runs the bowling box for half a point if no one donkey drops the nibble. Of course, it is an extra three fourths of a point if the slingy bowls a paddle scoop, and the game keeps going until a nipbacker nets a gully grubber."https://babylonbee.com/news/aw-crap-doge-announces-its-replacing-baseball-with-cricket
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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
00:50:59
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
