TERRA—The bounty on notorious criminal Groot's head has skyrocketed following a sharp increase in lumber prices across the galaxy, sources confirmed Monday.
The member of the outlaw group known as the "Guardians of the Galaxy" -- wanted for violent assaults, escaping prison, more nefarious mercenary acts -- previously had a bounty issued in the amount of $100,000 in Terran dollars, but that number has shot way up, with bounty hunters now seeking him out for the sum of $10,000,000.
"It's just supply and demand," said one member of a Ravager clan. "Builders are seeking lumber right now, which is in short supply. And Groot is a highly sought-after Flora colossus, desirable for its application in building homes and businesses. While he was previously wanted for his criminal acts, he's now wanted more for his potential as a building material."
Groot strongly condemned the increased bounty on his head, saying, "I am Groot. I am Groot? I am Groot." When pressed, he added, "I am Groot," leaving little doubt as to where he stands.
Reporters also sought comment from Treebeard. He has promised a statement but only got out the word "hello" by publishing time.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
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"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
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