DETROIT, MI—According to a tragic report, local mother Lyn Smith has given birth to a precious brand-new human life, completely missing out on having her soul crushed every day in her corporate career. Mr. Smith has picked up extra hours at his job so she can stay home with her baby.
Sources say Mrs. Smith has given life to a gorgeous baby boy who has filled her life with transcendent love and meaning, unlike anything she has ever experienced.
Unfortunately, this has caused her to miss out on the coveted "Salesperson of the Fiscal Quarter" award at her former employer Omnicorp. She has also missed out on 1823 hours of overtime, 372 Zoom meetings, 12 unwanted advances from male co-workers, and all the respect of feminists familiar with the situation.
"Just look at her over there, rolling on the floor with that sweet, pudgy little baby," said her former co-worker Sandra as she took her cats out to brunch. "Disgusting. Just a baby factory for her husband. Too bad she'll never match my achievements in life!" she said as she held up her coveted "Most Improved Office Assistant of the Fiscal Quarter" award.
We reached out to Mrs. Smith for comment, but she was too busy laughing and tickling her 1-year-old bundle of joy to pay any attention.
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