WASHINGTON, D.C.—As fuel shortages cause long lines at gas stations across the country, President Biden admitted he was worried that this may hurt Carter's chances against Reagan in the upcoming election.
"Listen, it's a real problem," said President Biden to his bathtub, which he had mistaken for his press pool. "People need gas. All the Latinx and poor kids need gas-- even the white kids. I'm just worried President Carter may not get reelected. Reagan's comin' on pretty strong."
Solutions proposed by Biden include building some sort of an "extra-large pipeline" to carry more gas into the country or making everyone exchange their automobiles for bicycles.
"We have to do something before Reagan catches Jimmy Carter in the polls!" said Biden.
White House sources report Biden is "fully committed" to solving the gas problem, and that he knows it's 2021 and he's the president.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
