JERUSALEM—Hamas terrorists in the Gaza Strip fired rockets toward Jerusalem this week, sending a clear message that they would like all the Jews to die. In spite of this clear message, inconsiderate Jews in Israel continue to be alive.
"Seriously-- It's insanely rude," said Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas. "We have been very clear about our dreams of driving Israel into the sea until every last Jew is dead, but they refuse to compromise with us. How can one answer such impoliteness, except with more rockets aimed at Israeli civilians?"
President Biden has reprimanded Israel for being so mean, calling for them to compromise with the Palestinians. "Look folks-- shalom and all that. C'mon! Don't be so rigid! Don't be so stubborn! What Hamas is asking for ain't that hard! Do all of you Jews have to stay alive all the time? That's just not reasonable!"
Israel responded to Hamas rockets with airstrikes, which critics say is a slap in the face to Palestinian leaders who wish to shoot rockets in peace.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
