WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a shocking technology malfunction during a recent appearance, President Biden was revealed to be a robotic human suit driven by former president Jimmy Carter.
"Listen, folks, gas lines aren't that ba--" said President Biden as he began to twitch. "If you, if you're, I, I, I... uh... what was I saying?"
There was then a series of beeping noises as Biden's face opened up, revealing former president Carter -- who could easily fit inside Biden's head due to his minuscule size -- sitting behind the controls.
Carter waved sheepishly at the shocked reporters. "Oops, wrong button. I'm sorry everyone! While I have you, Israel is an apartheid state and the next 4 years will probably be worse than the last 4 years...uh... forget you saw me, ok?"
Carter then pressed a button on his control panel and Biden's face closed and clicked shut.
"S-s-sorry about that folks," said Biden. What did I miss?"
Jen Psaki then swore the press pool to secrecy and gave them chocolate chip cookies.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
'Don't Let Anyone Take Your Power,' Tipsy Aunt Kamala Tells Confused Five-Year-Olds At Thanksgiving Kids' Table
"Do not let anyone steal your...your power," Harris reportedly said as the children glanced at each other awkwardly. "Riley, listen up, honey," she continued, addressing one girl as Harris slowly blinked and swayed gently from side to side. "Girl, you hear what I am sayin? Never ever let anybody take your power from you."
Even Better Film Adaptation Of Lord of the Rings Will Just Be An Old British Guy Reading The Books Out Loud For 56 Hours
"I love the old movies, do not get me wrong," said Dan Ferguson, a cigar enthusiast and Lord of the Rings aficionado. "But this new adaptation blows Peter Jackson right out of the water. The only better way to do this would be to get St. Tolkien himself to read them — and he is singing with the angels above, so we will have to wait on that until heaven."
Are You An Alcoholic? Look For These Warning Signs
You wake up from alcohol-induced blackouts with fragmented memories of having run for president. - If you are having vague flashes of Beyonce, Lizzo, and Mark Hamill all endorsing you for president and calling you "brat," you need help.https://babylonbee.com/news/are-you-an-alcoholic-look-for-these-warning-signs
