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Middle Easterners Run For Bomb Shelters After Learning U.S. Suffering Oil Shortages

MIDDLE EAST—Innocent civilians around the Middle East scrambled for their bomb shelters after hearing the news of a gasoline crisis in the United States.

"They're running out of gasoline? We're in danger! Ruuuun!!!" shouted one man in Syria as he grabbed his wife's hand and urged his kids to run into their bomb shelter. Built during the Obama administration, the shelter saved their lives more than a few times. Though it wasn't used as much during the Trump administration, the shelter has started to come in handy more now that Biden is in office.

And they couldn't be more thankful to have the underground shelter now that the U.S. is having gasoline distribution problems.

"Every time we catch a whiff of any kind of oil, gasoline, or other fuel problems in the U.S., we sound the alarm in our little village," said another man in Iran. "It's the smart thing to do -- you can't be too careful. Yes, we're glad that a woman of color is finally in the White House, and we're really proud of that kind of progress. But a bomb is a bomb, and we can't take our chances."

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

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February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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