MIDDLE EAST—Innocent civilians around the Middle East scrambled for their bomb shelters after hearing the news of a gasoline crisis in the United States.
"They're running out of gasoline? We're in danger! Ruuuun!!!" shouted one man in Syria as he grabbed his wife's hand and urged his kids to run into their bomb shelter. Built during the Obama administration, the shelter saved their lives more than a few times. Though it wasn't used as much during the Trump administration, the shelter has started to come in handy more now that Biden is in office.
And they couldn't be more thankful to have the underground shelter now that the U.S. is having gasoline distribution problems.
"Every time we catch a whiff of any kind of oil, gasoline, or other fuel problems in the U.S., we sound the alarm in our little village," said another man in Iran. "It's the smart thing to do -- you can't be too careful. Yes, we're glad that a woman of color is finally in the White House, and we're really proud of that kind of progress. But a bomb is a bomb, and we can't take our chances."
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
