The Babylon Bee
Culture • News • Comedy
Fake news you can trust.
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
Nation Wishes Someone Would Have Warned Them About Dangers Of Unchecked Government Power

U.S.—Concerned citizens from all over the nation were really pitying their unfortunate lot in life that not a single individual in recent memory had risen up to warn them about the dangers of unchecked government power amid reports of gas shortages, rapidly rising prices on just about everything, and everyone in power lecturing them about pronouns and face coverings every day.

“Oh! Woe is us,” exclaimed one man waiting in an hour-long queue at a gasoline station so he could fill up grocery bags with the scarce fuel. “How did it ever come to this without even one person warning us about what would happen?”

“It’s like our government officials just did whatever they felt like doing with no regard to the Constitution and now we’re in a big mess and no one even bothered to warn us,” mourned another citizen.

“If someone had run for office warning about all these things, I would have definitely voted for that guy,” declared one woman who had lost her business and was now waiting in line to fill up her plastic bags too. “Even if he wasn’t the most charismatic or smooth-talking of the bunch. We just needed an honest guy to come around, like a sweet grandpa, and I don’t know, maybe if this honest grandpa tried to explain basic economics, obscure monetary policy, and the Constitution, and we all voted for him, maybe we'd all be better off right now. How crazy that in a country as big as ours, no one like that ever ran for office?”

At publishing time, the world continued to seem like it was on fire and it’s really a shame that no one ever warned about any of this beforehand.

post photo preview
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
What else you may like…
Videos
Posts
🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
May 09, 2026

UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion

"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."

https://babylonbee.com/news/ufo-files-reveal-aliens-here-and-already-defrauded-minnesota-for-20-billion

May 09, 2026

Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws

"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-effort-to-retake-congress-once-again-thwarted-by-existence-of-laws

May 08, 2026

Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote

"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."

https://babylonbee.com/news/virginia-considering-new-measure-that-just-makes-it-illegal-for-republicans-to-vote

Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals