ISRAEL—The media has condemned Israel for launching an unprovoked attack on innocent Hamas rockets that just so happened to be flying overhead last night.
"These rockets were out for an innocent, leisurely flight across Israeli airspace, and Israel heartlessly took them down," said a CNN anchor, wiping tears from his eyes. "It is clear that Israel is the aggressor here. Just look at those poor, defenseless little guys -- they barely got a chance to fly."
"Though they have been shot down heartlessly by the IDF, the rockets will always fly on in our hearts."
Footage shows the rockets on their normal flight path, a "sightseeing" trip according to the Associated Press, with Israel's rockets being launched to attack the innocent rockets minding their own business.
As Hamas's rockets crashed into the ground, Brian Stelter wept uncontrollably. "Why, God, why!?" he cried. "So much explosive potential wasted!"
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."