U.S.—With the CDC finally relaxing some guidelines around mask-wearing, Democrats are facing the dread of parting with something that has been giving them feelings of safety and security for over a year. To help them cope with the loss, many Democrats are turning to baby pacifiers to help wean them off the masks.
"The binky is a perfect bridge toward a maskless future," said one Democrat. He then quickly popped the rubber nipple back in his mouth for a few minutes before continuing. "I think it's important to be open and vulnerable about the trauma we have all experienced in the last year." He then grabbed his blanket and teddy bear and went down for a nap.
Dr. Fauci has endorsed the use of binkies for vaccinated Democrats, but he's still suggesting a mask be worn over them at all times.
In his nightly segment, Sean Hannity ridiculed Democrats for being such big babies. "We live in a nation of sissified man babies," he said before taking a quick hit from his vape pen.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
"It's become such a wonderful tradition to ring in the beautiful autumn season by covering my home with fall decor," Carol said as she strategically placed dried leaves and withered straw around her living room.
"Fall is here! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" said a spokeswife for the American Wives Union in an official statement.
If you value The Babylon Bee and want to bypass the fact checkers who seek to have us deplatformed, please consider becoming a supporter so you can enjoy fake news you can trust.