U.S.—U.S. Military leaders confirmed that they have shot down an unidentified flying object over the Pacific Ocean after the mysterious craft refused to identify itself with its preferred pronouns.
"Yes, we can confirm that one of our F-18 fighters intercepted an apparently quite transphobic alien spacecraft yesterday," said Navy Admiral Arnie Ahab. "After several unsuccessful attempts to hail the object for identifying pronouns such as "he/him" or "they/them", we were forced to blow it out of the sky."
California residents were startled by what appeared to be a massive explosion off the coast, followed by a burning object plunging into the sea.
"We are happy to say we protected Earth from an alien visitor that was obviously not advanced enough to engage in common trans-sensitive pronoun courtesy during a greeting," said Navy Secretary Thomas W. Harker in a statement. "You all are safe now."
President Biden has thanked the Navy for their great work and deployed more aircraft carriers to the pacific in case any more transphobic extraterrestrials show up.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
