MOJAVE DESERT, NV—Conflict has heated up between Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner, with Coyote once again being tricked into plummeting off a cliff. This has led to worldwide condemnation of the Road Runner and his disproportionate use of force, as the Road Runner has repeatedly and severely injured Coyote while Coyote has not once laid a hand on the Road Runner.
“The Road Runner has constantly caused Wile E. Coyote to explode, run into walls, and fall off of extremely high cliffs,” reads a U.N. resolution against the Road Runner. “This is abusive treatment of an animal that is merely hungry and has never (successfully) harmed anyone, and the abuse must end.” The resolution was signed by most members of the U.N. (though not the U.S.).
Despite wide condemnation of the Road Runner, President Biden has reiterated support for the Road Runner, saying the Road Runner has a right to self-defense against “coyotes and other predators.” This has put him in conflict with many progressives, including “The Squad,” who see a large imbalance between the threat to the Road Runner and the violence inflicted on Coyote.
“He is just a mean, mean bird,” said Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “And what is he doing running around on the ground? The ground is not for birds.” Ocasio-Cortez started pounding her podium. “The ground is not for birds! He needs to go back where he came from... the sky!”
Activists are trying to get businesses to join in putting pressure on the Road Runner with an announcement they have joined forces with the ACME Corporation.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
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Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
