WASHINGTON, D.C.—During an interview last night, President Joe Biden said that Israel's fears over Hamas launching rockets to murder them are unfounded, and that Hamas is "just an idea."
"Look, Hamas is, well, it's just an idea, really," Biden said during a segment on ABC News. "It's more of a concept, an a-a-abstract, a, the, you know, the, the, the thing. A sym - a symbol. Hamas is more of the journey, the, the destination."
"The real Hamas is just the, you know, just the friends we made along the way."
"So who is launching the rockets then?" asked the interviewer.
"Come on, man!" Biden replied angrily. "Want to arm-wrestle? I took down ol' Bucktooth Joe back in my college days. He was one of the best arm-wrestlers east of the Mississippi. And, pow! I took him down. Right in the kisser. Let's go, me and you, right now. Or maybe a push-up contest. You know, the -- the thing about the push-ups --"
The feed cut off abruptly.
There was great relief across the nation of Israel over Biden's assurances, with people coming out of hiding and dancing in the streets that there is really not a nation run by a terrorist group that wants to eradicate them off the face of the earth, and that Hamas is just a vague concept out in the ether somewhere.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
