CHAPEL HILL, NC—According to anonymous sources, Dr. Anthony Fauci stayed up late in his North Carolina research lab last night, designing a brand new virus even deadlier than COVID-19.
Recent polls suggest public opinion may be turning against Fauci as he continues to press for arbitrary mask-wearing and after Rand Paul linked him to dangerous bat virus research in Wuhan.
"This will teach them to laugh at me," said Fauci through gritted teeth as he looked at his latest abomination through the microscope. "I'll show them! They'll see! Behold my terrible creation! Behold my chimera! EARTH IS DOOMED! MUA HAHAHAHAHAAA!"
Researchers in Chapel Hill and Wuhan have confirmed that Fauci is indeed working on something even "bigger and badder" than anything that came before it. This new SARS-related coronavirus will infect human airway cells, turning the victims into giant mutated zombies that will chase down their victims and spray virus everywhere.
"Let's see you try going without a mask now! HAHAHAHAHA!" cried Fauci as he completed his creation.
Senator Rand Paul has called for an inquiry into Fauci's work at the lab, which critics say is just because he's jealous of Dr. Fauci's brilliance.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Where can I see the recent Seth Dillon talk about Twitter/X and the censorship campaign against Babylon Bee. I watched it, lived it, tried to share it on Facebook, but it disappeared.
Your Giggles for Today
A guy calls 911 in a panic. “My wife is having a baby! Her contractions are only one minute apart!” “Calm down,” the 911 operator says. “Is this her first child?” “No, you idiot!” the guy shouts. “This is her husband!”
A little girl asks her mother, “How did the human race appear?” The mother answers, “Well, God made Adam and Eve and then they had kids. So all mankind was made.” Two days later the little girl asks her father the exact same question. The father answers, “Many years ago, there were monkeys from which the entire human race evolved.” The confused little girl returns to her mother and says, “Mom, you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said man developed from monkeys. Why do you have different stories?” The mother answers, “Well, I was referring to my side of the family and your dad was talking about his side.” (Lol! A oldie that needed repeating).
“When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me . ....