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Governor DeSantis Signs Controversial Bill Declaring The Sky Is Blue

TALLAHASSEE, FL—In a controversial move sure to cause outrage, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed a bill declaring that the sky is blue.

“Through sheer malice, bigotry, and hatred, I declare the sky is blue!” said DeSantis at the signing ceremony. “Maybe next I’ll declare grass to be green, enforcing myopic reality on everyone! Mwuh ha ha ha!” DeSantis then signed the bill with ink he declared to be black no matter what anyone else thought about it.

“Nooooo! Colors exist on a spectrum!” screamed an activist outside. “Who is to say the sky isn’t yellow? I guess, maybe, some sort of device that measures the wavelength and compares it to known color values, but that doesn’t override people’s lived experiences!”

DeSantis is said to be considering weighing in on other controversial, divisive topics, such as declaring that the sun is hot, water is wet, and two plus two equals four — all things PolitiFact rated as only “Half True.”

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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