U.S.—A shocking study has found an increasing number of Democratic state governors are fleeing to Florida, desperate to escape the ravages of their own COVID lockdown policies.
The report found that Governors Whitmer, Newsom, and Cuomo have already secretly purchased homes in The Sunshine State.
"Let me be clear. Florida is a deep dark pit of deep right-wing darkness," said Newsom as he watched his servants pack up his U-Haul. "But also, their restaurants are actually still in business, and I'm really hungry."
The study also found that Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York has secretly been making trips to Florida since last year, mainly due to the fact that no one lives in New York anymore and he gets lonely sometimes. "Listen," he said while eating a meatball sub he had made himself since there were no sub shops left in New York, "even a guy like me needs someone to talk to every once in a while. That's why I'm movin' to Florida."
Governor Ron DeSantis has expressed concern over the influx of Democrat Governors clamoring to get into the state and has mandated that they all quarantine for at least a year before mixing with the general populace.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
