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Gay Americans Starting To Wish Straight People Would Chill Out About Pride Month

AUSTIN, TX - Straight people have turned out in droves to celebrate Pride Month this year, and for many gay Americans, it's really starting to ruin the vibe.

The TV airwaves have sustained a total takeover, as corporations hawking everything from cereal to laundry detergent have invaded the refuge of rebels formerly known as "Pride".

"I can't buy a jar of pickles without someone trying to score gay points," complained local woman Sarah Rice. "I mean initially it was nice to see gay couples in the occasional graham cracker commercial...but now my acne cream says it's LGBT affirming and my tooth floss is rainbow-colored. Ridiculous."

Local events have also seen a massive influx from both corporations and would-be allies. "Honestly thinking about skipping the Pride Parade this year and just having a cookout at home," said former parade organizer Steve Garcia. "A bunch of straight people waving flags, all sponsored by Walgreens? That's basically a NASCAR event. Thanks, but no thanks."

Mr. Garcia left for work, only to discover his co-workers had generously had his entire car spray-painted with rainbow stripes. He sheepishly drove to his office, where his door had been replaced with rainbow beads and a giant rainbow cake was sitting on his desk. "Freaking allies got me again," muttered Mr. Garcia.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

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September 06, 2026

As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)

May 09, 2026

UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion

"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."

https://babylonbee.com/news/ufo-files-reveal-aliens-here-and-already-defrauded-minnesota-for-20-billion

May 09, 2026

Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws

"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-effort-to-retake-congress-once-again-thwarted-by-existence-of-laws

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