The Babylon Bee
Comedy • News • Culture
Fake news you can trust.
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
Concerns Arise Over Jen Psaki's Physical Health After Her Statement That Biden Is 'Hard To Keep Up With'

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Health officials have raised serious concerns about the state of Press Secretary Jen Psaki's health after she revealed in a briefing that she "has trouble keeping up with Biden."

"This is bad-- really, really bad," said health expert Dr. Hans Gundersen to the press. "Biden is in really bad shape. We're not even sure Biden is legally still alive right now, or what exactly is holding him together or animating his limbs and causing sounds to come out of his mouth. It's a total mystery. I have fewer concerns about the health of the possum I ran over in my car this morning than I do with Biden. It's really, really not good. What was I even talking about? Oh yeah-- Psaki. If she's having trouble keeping up with that guy, then she's in serious trouble health-wise."

Several other doctors have come forward, diagnosing Psaki with a host of possible conditions, including chronic fatigue syndrome, actue liver and kidney failure, fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis, or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

"Any of these could be the cause of Paski having issues keeping up with Biden," said Gundersen.

Psaki is being urged to check herself into the White House Medical Unit as soon as possible.

"Please Jen! Before it's too late!" said Gundersen.

post photo preview
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
What else you may like…
Videos
Posts
🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
November 14, 2024

FBI To Raid Homes Of All 75,000,000 People Who Conspired To Elect Trump

"It is time for these people to pay for their crimes," said FBI Director Christopher Wray in a brief statement regarding the raids. "We have spent several years surveilling these dangerous people and warning the public about them. Now they have struck a devastating blow to our country by electing Trump. We are going to take swift action to deal with them."

https://babylonbee.com/news/fbi-to-raid-homes-of-all-75000000-people-who-conspired-to-elect-trump

7 hours ago
DOGE is here, and Elon and Vivek will eliminate literally millions of government positions. Here are the top 10 most useless positions that they will target.

https://odysee.com/top-10-government-positions-doge-will-be#4e273375070d37522bcf55f439c5398b8fb8d270

21 hours ago

Department Of Government Efficiency Identifies 535 Government Workers Who Haven't Done Any Work For Years

"This group is, without a doubt, one of the most useless bunches of government excess that one can imagine," Elon Musk noted in a post to X. "Records show that they have not done a single productive thing in decades. Totally, completely surplus — fat just begging to be trimmed right there."

https://babylonbee.com/news/department-of-government-efficiency-identifies-535-government-workers-who-havent-done-any-work-for-years

Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals