NEW YORK, N.Y.—A federal appeals court judge has ruled that a Jewish bakeshop owner must comply with his Arab customer’s request to bake a “Death To Israel” cake.
Jacob Greenstein, the owner of Jake Bakes Cakes in Brooklyn, said the controversy started after a customer ordered a special Hamas-themed “Death To Israel” cake for his son’s sixth birthday party.
“He wanted me to bake a cake with the words “DEATH TO ISRAEL” on the top in bold lettering,” Greenstein said. "He offered me extra money if I could put a few Jewish dead bodies on the sides. I thought it was offensive since I’m an Israeli Jew, so I politely declined.”
Greenstein said the customer was enraged at his refusal and took the matter to court. After Greenstein won at trial, the customer eventually appealed to a federal circuit court where a judge overturned the ruling.
“The American right to cake is just as sacred as the right to kill unborn babies, choose your own pronouns, and vote by mail without showing ID or proof of citizenship,” the judge said in his scathing 12-page ruling. “As such, I decree that Jake Bakes Cakes must bake the ‘Death To Israel’ cake."
"Furthermore, the cake must be chocolaty and delicious, with buttercream frosting that’s sweet but not too overpowering," the judge continued. "And everyone must wear masks while baking it, lest any COVID particles get into the batter. Thus sayeth the government.”
Greenstein said he plans to appeal the decision all the way to the supreme court if necessary, but that he’s having trouble finding a lawyer. “Most of the law firms I’ve talked to said they're refusing to take my case because I’m Jewish,” he said.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
SAN FRANCISCO—A cashier working the closing shift at a small mom-and-pop store on Sutter St. was left shocked and bewildered when a customer tried to pay for her items.
Store security footage reveals the customer roamed the store calmly while looters plucked most shelves dry. She picked up a few trinkets before heading to the register.
"I wasn't really paying attention," said the cashier, Brian Risico. "We get lots of looters, but I don't think I've ever seen a paying customer. No one taught me how to use the register."
"Then this chick comes up," he continued. "She's– I don't know. Normal? She placed some products on the counter and asked for the damage. I thought she was going to hurt me, but it turned out she wanted to know how much money she should give me."
Risico stared blankly at the woman for a minute before panicking and fleeing in terror. The unnamed customer then placed a twenty on the counter and left. The twenty-dollar bill was promptly stolen.
According to ...
U.S.—As part of a bold new marketing strategy to promote inclusivity and appeal to less than 1% of the population, Mars, Incorporated has introduced a new M&M character who identifies as a Skittle.
"I'm gonna be honest here. We basically are doing this because it's hip and makes us look cool," said Mars, Incorporated CEO Franklin Crunchy. "And that adds to the bottom line. I think we can make a decent fortune by comparing the hardship of real trans people to a wacky cartoon character."
"Trans people deserve to be represented by M&Ms," he continued. "Our Trans-Skittle character will help us break chocolate-covered barriers in your mouth and not in your hands."
The new character, named Quinn, is an M&M that wears an "S" because they haven't had letter reassignment surgery yet. On the inside, Quinn has the same chocolate taste because it isn't able to change anything but its outward appearance.
"We just want to let the trans community know that M&M supports you and wants your money!"...
If you value The Babylon Bee and want to bypass the fact checkers who seek to have us deplatformed, please consider becoming a supporter so you can enjoy fake news you can trust.