U.S.—America is celebrating today after the Biden administration announced that people will save a full 16 cents on their cookouts this year. While this has been welcome news for most, it has also exposed the dark underbelly of America's continuing struggle against gender inequality.
This is because for every 16 cents a man saves on his cookout, the average woman will only save 12 cents.
"I wish I could say I was surprised by this," said Senator and equality expert Elizabeth Warren. "I'm actually not surprised in the least since we live in an evil, sexist country. Please donate to my campaign now, since I said a really progressive thing."
An uprising of 6 women across the country has taken to the streets to protest this injustice, demanding legislation to enact price controls on all food forever. "We think this is a reasonable proposal," said one organizer.
Opposition to the legislation insists that the savings gap between men and women would even out if women didn't keep getting suckered by that little knick-knack section by the entrance to Target.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
