The Babylon Bee
Comedy • News • Culture
Fake news you can trust.
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
House Votes To Replace All Confederate Statues With Statues Of Chairman Mao

WASHINGTON, D.C—Confederate statues are once again on the chopping block as the House pushes to have them removed. Following their removal, Democrats have vowed that these confederate monsters will be replaced by statues of Chairman Mao.

"This sacred space has been defiled for too long. We ought not to forget history. We must learn from history. But we ought not to honor that which defiles the principles for which we stand," said House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer. "That is why we must remove these hateful symbols and replace them with something that does reflect our true values, someone like Chairman Mao."

Immediately, the House floor erupted with praise and thunderous applause, save for a few conservatives.

“Finally, these racist, evil statues can be cast down and replaced by wonderful statues of Chairman Mao.” cheered Alexandria Ocasio Cortez. “Now this nation can begin healing as we look up to the timeless ideals of Mao.”

“I never thought I’d see this day come,” AOC continued, getting a little choked up. “It’s just the way he led his people. The way he created the perfect society with no more murder, starvation, or oppression. It’s people like Mao Zedong who give me hope.”

Some Americans found this change to be “objectively worse and horrific in every way." They are now being investigated by the FBI.

post photo preview
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
What else you may like…
Videos
Posts
🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals