WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrat politicians from Texas are currently enjoying a relaxing paid vacation in America's capitol after bravely leaving their jobs to avoid voting for evil and racist voter suppression laws like requiring an ID to vote.
Their fun field trip hit a snag, however, when they signed up for a Capitol tour and were required to show identification to enter.
"AHHHHHHHH! The racism has escaped Texas and made it all the way to D.C.!" shrieked Representative Fiona Pastewax. "This is suppression! Hands up don't shoot! Black lives matter!" She then hurled herself out a window and hid in the bushes to escape all the racism.
Dozens of Texas lawmakers then sat on the floor with pouty faces and refused to move until security would let them in without showing IDs.
According to sources, they are currently enjoying chicken nuggets and juice boxes and playing duck duck goose. CNN is reporting that this stunning and brave "sit-in" is expected to last for several weeks- or until they all get their way.
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"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."