The American Civil War was pretty bad, but there are a lot of things that have happened since then. Some of them are even worse than the Civil War. Just ask Joe Biden. Over his short presidency, he has already compared all ten of these things to the Civil War:
1. Republicans asking people to show ID at the polls - Literally just as bad as Gettysburg.
2. The Jan. 6 attack on the capitol, where millions died - Literally just as bad as Antietam.
3. His favorite ice cream shop being out of chocolate chocolate chip - Biden freaked out over this one, calling it "the worst attack on democracy since Lincoln was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald."
4. Matlock getting canceled - Hoo boy, was he furious about this.
5. That one time a reporter asked him an actual question - The one time this happened in all of human history, he said it was "just like that Gettysburg thing."
6. "You know, the thing!" - We aren't sure what he was talking about here, but it was definitely worse than the Civil War.
7. Taco Bell discontinuing the Caramel Apple Empanada - OK, he's got a point here.
8. Catholic priests denying him Communion for not believing Catholic things - A true outrage and definitely worse than the ACW.
9. When the world was destroyed in World War 3 back in February 2020 - You probably don't even remember this war between us and Iran. Because you're dead.
10. The New York Post reporting on his son's laptop - Pickett's Charge has nothing on this national tragedy.
Is Joe right about these? What things have happened in your life that are worse than the Civil War? Let us know in the comments!
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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SAN FRANCISCO—A cashier working the closing shift at a small mom-and-pop store on Sutter St. was left shocked and bewildered when a customer tried to pay for her items.
Store security footage reveals the customer roamed the store calmly while looters plucked most shelves dry. She picked up a few trinkets before heading to the register.
"I wasn't really paying attention," said the cashier, Brian Risico. "We get lots of looters, but I don't think I've ever seen a paying customer. No one taught me how to use the register."
"Then this chick comes up," he continued. "She's– I don't know. Normal? She placed some products on the counter and asked for the damage. I thought she was going to hurt me, but it turned out she wanted to know how much money she should give me."
Risico stared blankly at the woman for a minute before panicking and fleeing in terror. The unnamed customer then placed a twenty on the counter and left. The twenty-dollar bill was promptly stolen.
According to ...
U.S.—As part of a bold new marketing strategy to promote inclusivity and appeal to less than 1% of the population, Mars, Incorporated has introduced a new M&M character who identifies as a Skittle.
"I'm gonna be honest here. We basically are doing this because it's hip and makes us look cool," said Mars, Incorporated CEO Franklin Crunchy. "And that adds to the bottom line. I think we can make a decent fortune by comparing the hardship of real trans people to a wacky cartoon character."
"Trans people deserve to be represented by M&Ms," he continued. "Our Trans-Skittle character will help us break chocolate-covered barriers in your mouth and not in your hands."
The new character, named Quinn, is an M&M that wears an "S" because they haven't had letter reassignment surgery yet. On the inside, Quinn has the same chocolate taste because it isn't able to change anything but its outward appearance.
"We just want to let the trans community know that M&M supports you and wants your money!"...
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