WASHINGTON, D.C.—After calling out Facebook for killing billions of people with misinformation, President Biden then turned his sights on MySpace, and its genocidal founder Tom.
"I am hereby issuing an executive order to immediately arrest Tom from MySpace for crimes against humanity," said Biden to a plastic shopping bag he mistook for his FBI Director. "Too long has he subjected America to terrible, brightly colored fonts and crappy music playlists. And when I was bumped from Obama's top 10 friends, it literally killed me. When are we gonna say, 'enough is enough?' When?"
FBI sources are currently on the hunt for Tom, as well as the murderous creators of these other weapons of mass destruction:
AOL Instant Messenger
Juno Email
All cell phones
The Rolodex
Fax Machines
The Gutenberg press
Hallmark greeting cards
"I won't stop until these public menaces are caught and destroyed!" said Biden.
The administration also confirmed they will be personally checking every single library book for misinformation and will burn everything that may lead to vaccine hesitancy.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
