U.S.—Forlorn Amazon warehouse workers returned to their shifts after enjoying a ten-minute break for the first time in their entire employment today as Bezos rocket disappointingly returned to earth.
The hopeful workers had gathered around televisions in break rooms, saying their prayers and watching in wonderment as Bezos's rocket went up. They waited with bated breath and hopeful faces—but all their dreams were dashed as the rocket failed to explode in a brilliant, dazzling fireball.
"Maybe next time," said Jorge Mendez of South El Monte, CA, putting his orange vest back on and returning to his spot on the assembly line. "That guy wasn't even in space long enough for me to pee!" Mendez's officially issued shock collar then zapped him for complaining, and he cast his eyes downward and returned to work.
"Back to work, minions!" said Bezos, bursting into one warehouse moments after landing. "You thought you'd gotten rid of me forever! Ha! I won't be gotten rid of that easily! Bezos is back, baby!"
Amazon workers say they remain hopeful that Bezos's next trip to space will result in the much-anticipated explosion.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
