CLEVELAND, OH—Under intense pressure from the Native American community and progressive activists, the Cleveland Indians have finally retired their racist Chief Wahoo logo. They won't be changing their name, though, and instead are replacing the antiquated Indian with another well-known Indian: Apu from The Simpsons.
As part of a deal with Fox, Apu will now appear on all Indians merchandise and be prominently featured in all Cleveland Indians advertising. The Indians say they are finally making things right with the Native American community with this move, and they are hoping the new mascot is as inoffensive as possible.
"We hope this gets us out of hot water with the woke folks," said front office Cultural Sensitivity Manager Fred Bobo. "Sorry, I think it's 'folx' now, isn't it? Whatever won't get us canceled."
"Anyway, we don't see any problems with the new logo, and we think it's going to be a real hit with the Native Americans."
"What? Yeah, I don't care," said one Native American tribal leader when we asked him about the Indians. "They can name their baseball team whatever they want. I'm more of a hockey guy. Big Blackhawks fan."
At publishing time, the Cleveland Indians had frantically begun searching for a new logo after googling "Is Apu racist?"
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
