What’s my number one complaint about today’s society?
Oh, yeah. Hatlessness. Men don't wear hats anymore. But what’s my number two complaint?
That’s right: Everyone is a bunch of sissies.
With this pandemic, it’s been sissy Christmas every day. Everyone is all, “Ooh! The virus is out there and going to get me! I’m going to hide in my house and wear my mask! Please inject me with stuff and tell me it will protect me!” It’s pathetic. No wonder nowadays people are confused about who women are, since everyone sounds like one.
It wasn’t like that back in the long, long ago — the good old days — when men were men, women were women, and you weren’t allowed to switch. Back then, we weren’t scared of any little old disease. And guess how we fared?
Well, yes, a lot of us died. Medicine was not quite as good back then. A lot less medical debt, a lot more dying. It’s a tradeoff. But we weren’t as whiny about it. And man, we had some diseases. Smallpox. Polio. Spanish Flu (and I know they say that name is offensive now, but that was our PC term for it; if you heard what we actually called it, it would blow your little tolerant minds). Those things, they’d kill you. But we didn’t care. We just lived our lives... well, some of us. Others dropped dead. We had a lot more funerals back then, but those are good social gatherings to meet and talk to each other, as we didn’t have Twitbook and Facer. So it all worked out.
And because we stood up to disease and death, we built this country into something great, with nuclear power and moon landings. You people can’t do that these days because you’re all hiding in your houses waiting for things to fall back to the stone age.
So that’s why you need to be like your ancestors and get out there and say, “I ain’t scared of you, disease! I ain’t even believe in germs and viruses; I’ve never seen them, and scientists could have just made those up!” And then get on with your life. What’s the worst that could happen? Well, yeah, you could die... but nothing worse than that.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UKRAINE—As Russian troops assemble at Ukraine's border ahead of a possible land invasion, President Biden has taken swift action by deploying an elite seal team to evacuate his son Hunter's money.
"At my direction, military operatives infiltrated a bank to evacuate my son's stash of sweet, sweet Burisma cash before Russia murdered everyone. I didn't want to risk that money falling into the wrong hands," said Biden in a statement to congress. "Unfortunately, we haven't been able to evacuate Americans from the country because I put all our resources on this operation. But make no mistake, we will leave no dollar behind."
The four-man squad was dropped into ally territory by a Black Hawk helicopter outfitted for stealth missions. Once on the ground, they covertly asked for directions to the nearest bank and shared an Uber to make the 4-mile journey.
Bank security footage depicts the squad calmly entering the bank and asking for the manager. The squad then assembled in a tiny cubicle to ...
GALLIFREY—Reports indicate that just as the fallen Doctor was regenerating into a strong, powerful, diverse female, the 14th Doctor has instead taken the form of Doctor Jordan Peterson. What was certain to be the most stunning and brave—and not to mention the lowest-rated—season yet, has now been subverted entirely by the emergence of Doctor Peterson as the newest Time Lord.
“It’s like no—if you betray yourself, if you say untrue things, you weaken your character,” said Dr. Peterson when asked why he returned as a man. “For God sakes, you just can’t bloody well live with that kind of paradox in life, lying to yourself.”
Sources say the new Doctor wasted no time in setting his space and time traveling T.A.R.D.I.S in order, and visiting some of the worst parts and greatest villains from history. He first visited the Cybermen telling them if they actually wanted to call themselves men, then they could start by cleaning their own room.
“It isn’t obvious to me how ...
KIEV, UKRAINE—As Russian troops increased their threat to Ukraine’s sovereignty and independence, the Ukrainian military showed their tactical prowess by asking Kyle Rittenhouse to come and guard their border with Russia.
“Yo, Kyle, hope all is well. Hey listen, our citizens are under threat from Putin and his d-bag army,” texted Ukrainian Minister of Defense, Sergei Ukrainovich to America’s national hero, Kyle Rittenhouse. “Could u do us a solid and come guard our border? Bring ur AR-15 lol thx.”
While some praised the move as militarily brilliant as well as based, citing the fact that no military has the capacity to withstand the freedom-spewing courage of Mr. Rittenhouse, U.S. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin criticized the move, citing Kyle Rittenhouse’s status as a cis-white male, and reminding everyone that guarding Ukraine would require him to CROSS STATE LINES.
“President Biden is weighing the deployment of troops to Ukraine,” said Secretary Austin, ...
If you value The Babylon Bee and want to bypass the fact checkers who seek to have us deplatformed, please consider becoming a supporter so you can enjoy fake news you can trust.