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Kamala Harris Combats High Unfavorability By Releasing All The Children She Has Imprisoned In Her Gingerbread House

FORBIDDEN WOODS—Recent polls have shown a low favorability rating for Vice President Kamala Harris. To combat this, she has taken the unusual step of releasing all the children she had imprisoned in her gingerbread house deep within the forest.

“Look at all of your children returned!” Harris announced as the kids fled from her. “And uneaten as well!”

It’s unclear why Harris has such a low approval rating. Some people blame sexism or racism or a combination of the two (sometimes known as “rexism”), but Harris hopes she can turn her approval rating around by giving families back their children and not plumping them up and eating them like she had originally planned.

“Run! Run back to your families!” Harris yelled to the fleeing kids and then let out one of her famous laughs.

“It’s just hard for a black woman in this climate,” said Sally Hubbard, an aide to Harris. “And it’s not going to be any easier for her, since she’ll now be cranky, having not satiated her hunger for children.”

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

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The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

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May 09, 2026

UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion

"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."

https://babylonbee.com/news/ufo-files-reveal-aliens-here-and-already-defrauded-minnesota-for-20-billion

May 09, 2026

Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws

"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-effort-to-retake-congress-once-again-thwarted-by-existence-of-laws

May 08, 2026

Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote

"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."

https://babylonbee.com/news/virginia-considering-new-measure-that-just-makes-it-illegal-for-republicans-to-vote

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