U.S.—Health experts in the U.S. have been encountering resistance in the population as many people don't want to stop living their lives due to the virus. So, they've been searching for spokespeople to point toward in hopes that Americans will finally listen to their expert advice. Finally, they located one creature they believe is a "model citizen" and "the very picture of health": Gollum, a Stoor Hobbit who lived in total isolation for 471 years.
"If Americans would just act more like Gollum, locking themselves away from sunlight and fresh air for five centuries, we would be able to beat this pandemic," said one health expert, Dr. Bob Lindelhooven. "Instead, we have people throwing massive 111th birthday parties and not even caring about what we have to say."
Gollum has been awarded the CDC's prestigious Health Hero Award for his exemplary behavior during this pandemic.
Experts also pointed to Bilbo Baggins as a negative example of good health practices, as he was radicalized by QAnon member Gandalf the Grey. "Before Gandalf, the Bagginses were very well-thought-of in the health community," said Lindelhooven. "They never had any adventures or did anything unexpected." According to researchers, though, now the Bagginses go running about without even checking the CDC website for guidance first.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
