U.S.—According to media experts, there must be something really bad happening on the Left, as CNN's homepage is completely filled with articles about Trump and how awful he is.
"I can only imagine what kind of depraved scandals must be plaguing the Democrat party today, for them to be talking about Trump this much," said political analyst Forrest McSquat. "Did Biden sniff a child again? Did Fauci admit COVID was on purpose? Did Kamala Harris punt an immigrant on live TV? I shudder to think about all the horrific possibilities."
While the Democrat party works internally with the media to address several scandals, CNN will be reminding the world just how bad Donald Trump was for American democracy. According to an anonymous whistleblower, CNN has created a stockpile of 873,000 negative stories about Trump, which should tide them over for the next several decades of Democrat scandals.
"As the American people begin to reminisce about the time they could afford gas and have jobs and go to restaurants, we need to keep reminding them that the Trump years were actually terrible," said CNN President Jeff Zucker.
Suspicion that the Democrats were up to something awful was further confirmed when analysts discovered the Fox News homepage was entirely filled with videos of Tucker Carlson.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
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